i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
