So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
