Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize