Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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