Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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