I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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