Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
