I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
