why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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