They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
