Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
