she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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