..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
