In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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