I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
