It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
