Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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