so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
