we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
