so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
