i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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