Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
