I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
