I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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