i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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