He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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