Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
