He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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