He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
