If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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