I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
