almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
