I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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