he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
