I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
