ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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