But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize