didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize