I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
