you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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