Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
