Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
