I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
