I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm both gender and math confused
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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