ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
