Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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