sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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