Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
