she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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