I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
