I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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