Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize