32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
