Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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