But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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