btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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