How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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