Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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