If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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