That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
