College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
