That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
