Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize