I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
