I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just found puke in my bra..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
