Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize