What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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