he was CRYING into my vagina
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
